I went out and looked at mine. I once was in your situation, not much fun but here is what I know.
For the future, here are a few things I have learned. First, make sure you have released pressure from the filter. It won't come off easy if there is still pressure in it. Second. I was able to run a drill bit into the plastic filter housing while it was still in place and get it started turning that way. I used the long drill bit as a lever. Third,
I found a special tool on Ebay for filter removal that has a cut out for the drain valve and that reduces future striping of the 32mm nut. That listing is Laser 7487 Diesel Fuel Socket
Now, none of this may help but for others I put it out there. I looked up at the connector you show in your photo and from the bottom i see just white plastic. I am guessing the red tab pushes to the left and the two gray bars push down, but I have to admit to breaking a few Ford connectors in the past. Hope you can get it out, this is a frustrating filter.
EDITED TO ADD: I just noticed the Laser 7487 socket comes from England with a high shipping charge. I found the same item on amazon for about $20 shipped for prime members.